This summer the cycle changed. This summer my Mom died.
"It's me. Hi. I'm the problem it's me." Put a finger down if the above Taylor Swift lyrics resonates with you. I've been in this place before. Where I know I need to slow down in my life but I continue tolerating x, y, and z. I tell myself the calendar will remain open only to fill up by mid week. Then the next week, into the next month and before you know it, it's a 2 month wait until I've got an avail. Why do I do this to myself? How did this happen again? The messages keep popping up to remind me I'm not giving myself time. Time to heal, time to explore, time to play, and time to process. Yet I keep trudging along like the good solider I am. I trudge on until exhaustion, I trudge on until it physically hurts, I trudge on until my body can't trudge on further. And then I collapse. I'll succumb to sickness, forced to take a much needed break. Forced to be in the reality of not having to do ALL the things, ALL the time. I sleep. I relax. I