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Unwinding in Solitude

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Life is a funny thing. It's meant for the living but most of us walk around like we're dead. I find myself in a world full of the most advanced technology, yet I'm lacking stimulation. Our society is full of diversity but my porridge is bland. I'm seeking a new thrill, an exciting emotion, a way for me to have a creative release. And it's hard to know what that is and in what form it will be. And so I sit alone. Alone with my thoughts, as the wind and the rain dance outside.Solitude. I still struggle with the idea of letting go, with sending my cares to the wind and trusting all will work out. I like to force the issue, be in control. If the earth spins one way, I'm trying to spin it the opposite. And believe me, I don't give up easily. It's both a blessing and a curse. If I am determined, I am a force to be reckoned with. In one hand I see fate and in the other I see my control. Which hand do I shake with today? What hand do I use to turn the knob?