Vodka & Friendship

You know what I struggle with? I struggle with letting go and holding on. I struggle with wanting more and being patient. I struggle with wanting to give my all and dive in and holding back and testing the water. It's such a scary time. It's a thrilling time, but it's so scary. I never know what balancing act I need to complete. I'm constantly existing between "too much" and "too little". I feel like everything about me is growing. I'm stretching my mind, my soul, and trying my best not to explode. Not to race to the end or read the last chapter. I just want to revel in all my feelings and soak it in. It's frustrating and it's exhilarating. And somewhere, along the way, I feel like my soul already knows the outcome. It's just a whisper but it's guiding me to a place that makes sense. A place led by crumbs of transformation. And right now I'm just blindly walking forward as all my limbs fumble to understand where my

I've entitled this blog post Falling not because it has to do with the slippery roads and sidewalks out there now that's it's November in the city. I'm talking about the butterflies, the excitement, the chills! That feeling you get when you know you're with someone special. A spark. An attraction. It so worth waiting for this moment. All your years, months, days, of being single, are worth it to get the chills. Mind you, it is flu season, so you could have the chills for other reasons. But this is where paying attention to your gut reaction is important. It's something I've had to teach myself to do, in any aspect of my life. We all get a grumble, or that churning in our gut when something isn't right, or something doesn't sit well with us. Could it be that burrito you ate for lunch? Definitely, but if that feeling lingers longer than you know it should or continues to pop up with a person you are with, pay attention. Meeting someone new has it up

Did you know 90% of single women are online dating? That's not even a fact, I just made it up right now. But trust me, this is how is feels most days. The single women I know are doing it,  and the single women I don't know are doing it. We feel the need to connect with someone and let's face it--IT'S HARD! Are you finding Mr. Right down the grocery aisle? Are you finding him at your friend's wedding, hoping to make eye contact as you catch the bouquet (What? It's subtle). Are you finding him by joining a sports team? No? It's tough. I get it. I'm living it. You go through these wide ranges of female empowerment to sometimes wanting nothing more than to sob into a bowl of chocolate ice-cream. It's all part of the roller coaster ride. Sometimes you're up, other times are you screaming upside down. A couple women I've chatted with who are online dating are going through the same topsy-turvy emotions. It's kinda hilarious, kinda depressi

Hey there, you single vixen you. Yes, you. The one who is really owning it. The who does her own thing on her own terms. The one who doesn't take crap from anyone. The one who can leave the dishes in the sink without anyone caring. The one who can take someone home after a fun night out and not have to explain herself to anyone. The one who maybe didn't vacuum last Sunday like you should have. The one who has a garbage full of bottles that hasn't yet gone to the recycling because it's taken you THAT long to fill it up. The one who is exploring life with no side passenger. Or back seat driver. Isn't it great being single? There's a lot of talk out there, and yes, from me too, about the negativity associated with being a lone ranger. But really, it should be the time of our lives. When you start feeling lonely, or feel like "the one" is never going to cross your doorstep, remember only you can take life by the horns and make the most of it. Cliche, you

There's something about the smell of fresh baked muffins on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The way the sun creeps into the window, making that one spot on the hardwood floor warmer than the rest. The way the urge to drink a coffee hits you, as you stare at the color of the grass, trying to imagine what the snow looked like only a month ago. The humming of the laundry machine is in the background, a movie on in the living room. An unmade bed and heaps of clothing lying behind the closet doors. The consistent movement of my dog's chest as he naps beside me on the couch. This is life. And I'm living it.    New pastimes have emerged, like kickball. Never in a million years did I think I'd be playing on a team, where 99% of the people on my team are strangers. Where the goal is to save your beer and run to base and laugh along the way. Never in a million years did I think I'd enjoy a hot yoga class. Where you sweat, even when you move your wrist. Never before did I think the

I bet you were waiting for the punch line.... Let me back up a bit. I was meaning to post another blog issue in March, but a health matter prevented me from doing so. Near the end of March, I started to experience excruciating pain in my head, neck, and shoulders. This pain progressed and after numerous trips to my doctor and others, I was seen by a neurologist. He diagnosed me with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension.  This mimics a brain tumor and causes a build up spinal fluid in the brain. The amount of pressure affects your vision and causes the pain in the muscles I was experiencing. A spinal tap is a way to relieve this pressure. As soon as I had mine, I had instant relief. My pressure was very high and to have it come back down to normal levels felt amazing. Since this whole ordeal I've been left with the effects of the double vision I was having. I need to sport an eye patch to strengthen my eyes and get my bearings about me. Eyes are slow to heal, so the estimate was

In true Canadian spirit, I witnessed a wonderful 'Go Canada Go' moment this morning. 5am to be exact. On Friday afternoon, I, like many other tweeters, saw our Premier Alison Redford had given the 'red light' (hockey fans know) on letting our bars open their doors at 5am and be able to have their taps flowing with golden deliciousness. Why you ask? Well if you're not Canadian, I'll explain. We are that die hard to watch our Canadian boys kick some Swedish butt for a sport we have flowing through our veins since birth. I decided to hop on that bandwagon and immediately told myself I'm going to be apart of this moment. Before becoming single, this is something I wouldn't have done. I would have valued my sleep or, watched at home in my slippers. And I certainly would not have stuck a toque on my head and headed down 17th to meet up with people I had never met besides one other person. But why not? Why not kick-start a little adventure, and be abl

Another Valentine's Day has come and gone, and after the candy wrappers have been thrown out, and the flowers have wilted, are you still in love with your significant other? Or better yet, did said significant other do anything for you? It's pressure, man. Pure pink and red pressure this time of year. But for us singles? Depression.... oh c'mon, I'm only joking. But I have heard this made up holiday is also named 'Singles Awareness Day'. And yes, it does make singles very  aware. A couple singles and I went out for a pricey Valentine's day meal on Friday. We were comrades, singles going into battle against a day full of XOXO. We managed to enjoy our meal, the company, and of course, the wine. (And beer, and Champaign) but I couldn't help but notice that not every couple was sitting around smiling. One couple behind us was literally on their phones, chins resting in their hands, starring into the screen instead of their lovers eyes. Really? Is that