It's Life, and I'm living it.
There's something about the smell of fresh baked muffins on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The way the sun creeps into the window, making that one spot on the hardwood floor warmer than the rest. The way the urge to drink a coffee hits you, as you stare at the color of the grass, trying to imagine what the snow looked like only a month ago. The humming of the laundry machine is in the background, a movie on in the living room. An unmade bed and heaps of clothing lying behind the closet doors. The consistent movement of my dog's chest as he naps beside me on the couch. This is life. And I'm living it.
New pastimes have emerged, like kickball. Never in a million years did I think I'd be playing on a team, where 99% of the people on my team are strangers. Where the goal is to save your beer and run to base and laugh along the way. Never in a million years did I think I'd enjoy a hot yoga class. Where you sweat, even when you move your wrist. Never before did I think there would be a time when I could do something new on my own, and, y'know, keep it up. It's a good feeling to witness the change in yourself. To see the life you want. To create it, for you, and solely you. I spent too much time in the past creating it for others and ended up getting left behind at a red light.
I've come a long way in a year. I've grown to be more accepting of myself. I've learned being angry isn't always easiest. I've learn its easy to say 'No' when something bigger is saying 'Yes'. I've learned that some things never change and I may always have a secret desire for a bright pink kitchen and a white picket fence. I've learned that letting go is one of the toughest things a person can do but it leads to the most rewards. I've learned it doesn't matter if they don't like you, do you like yourself? My jokes are still crass, my mind still warped. My laugh still loud, my flirting skills still reliable. And all the while my life is completely different than it was a year ago.
And so am I.
New pastimes have emerged, like kickball. Never in a million years did I think I'd be playing on a team, where 99% of the people on my team are strangers. Where the goal is to save your beer and run to base and laugh along the way. Never in a million years did I think I'd enjoy a hot yoga class. Where you sweat, even when you move your wrist. Never before did I think there would be a time when I could do something new on my own, and, y'know, keep it up. It's a good feeling to witness the change in yourself. To see the life you want. To create it, for you, and solely you. I spent too much time in the past creating it for others and ended up getting left behind at a red light.
I've come a long way in a year. I've grown to be more accepting of myself. I've learned being angry isn't always easiest. I've learn its easy to say 'No' when something bigger is saying 'Yes'. I've learned that some things never change and I may always have a secret desire for a bright pink kitchen and a white picket fence. I've learned that letting go is one of the toughest things a person can do but it leads to the most rewards. I've learned it doesn't matter if they don't like you, do you like yourself? My jokes are still crass, my mind still warped. My laugh still loud, my flirting skills still reliable. And all the while my life is completely different than it was a year ago.
And so am I.
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