Amor Armor
Did you know 90% of single women are online dating? That's not even a fact, I just made it up right now. But trust me, this is how is feels most days. The single women I know are doing it, and the single women I don't know are doing it.
We feel the need to connect with someone and let's face it--IT'S HARD! Are you finding Mr. Right down the grocery aisle? Are you finding him at your friend's wedding, hoping to make eye contact as you catch the bouquet (What? It's subtle). Are you finding him by joining a sports team? No? It's tough. I get it. I'm living it. You go through these wide ranges of female empowerment to sometimes wanting nothing more than to sob into a bowl of chocolate ice-cream. It's all part of the roller coaster ride. Sometimes you're up, other times are you screaming upside down.
A couple women I've chatted with who are online dating are going through the same topsy-turvy emotions. It's kinda hilarious, kinda depressing. The trick I've found, and been told to find, is to take it all in stride. We can get really excited over meeting someone we just met online or have been talking to for a couple days--and this is just based on a picture and somewhat witty profile description. DO NOT BE FOOLED! He could talk like Mickey Mouse and have a huge My Little Pony collection. You just don't know anymore. And the same could be said about the dude you met down the grocery aisle. But when you're meeting someone in the flesh vs. online, I feel there is a physiological difference that occurs in our female brain. Let me explain....
When you meet someone in the real world, you automatically know if you want to get to know this person further and if there was a connection with them. I went through this with my blind date I was recently set up on. On paper, great match. Once we met though, no spark, no connection on that level. It's interesting how someone can look and act like a fit for someone and then these two people don't click. But I could figure it out pretty quickly by meeting in person.
Online scenario allows this "moment" that happens right away organically when you meet, to be dragged out. You ask a million questions about them, all the while trying to figure out if this person fits what you are after. You are basing your facts on whether you even want to meet up with them in the first place. And let's say you click, let's say it's awesome. Let's say he used his best filtered picture to wow you. And you get excited! He asks you to meet for coffee! Omg, coffee, your fav! He must be the Prince Charming you've always wanted. So you meet up! Yay! Omg, coffee at Starbucks! But then he walks up to you and he's missing teeth. He didn't buy you your coffee, and he put WAY too much sugar in that cup. Ew. There's the difference. You don't know what to expect or how you will react to someone until you meet them in the flesh. But I find we get ourselves too excited over this prospect when we date online. It's too easy to get attached to the paper goods and not the flesh goods. Let's start to cultivate some love armor (as one of my girlfriends calls it) Don't be blind sided. Know your date could have the potential to not be a match. It's nothing against you, it's just clearly not meant to be. Embrace it and go write a blog about it. It will make you feel better.
So Godspeed and good luck to all you ladies out there who are putting yourselves online. I know we could write endless novels on online dating mishaps; the do's the don't's. But chalk it all up to experience. As they say, practice makes perfect. So when Prince Charming does come along? You are well equipped with your amor armor.
And if that doesn't work--break open the vodka.
We feel the need to connect with someone and let's face it--IT'S HARD! Are you finding Mr. Right down the grocery aisle? Are you finding him at your friend's wedding, hoping to make eye contact as you catch the bouquet (What? It's subtle). Are you finding him by joining a sports team? No? It's tough. I get it. I'm living it. You go through these wide ranges of female empowerment to sometimes wanting nothing more than to sob into a bowl of chocolate ice-cream. It's all part of the roller coaster ride. Sometimes you're up, other times are you screaming upside down.
A couple women I've chatted with who are online dating are going through the same topsy-turvy emotions. It's kinda hilarious, kinda depressing. The trick I've found, and been told to find, is to take it all in stride. We can get really excited over meeting someone we just met online or have been talking to for a couple days--and this is just based on a picture and somewhat witty profile description. DO NOT BE FOOLED! He could talk like Mickey Mouse and have a huge My Little Pony collection. You just don't know anymore. And the same could be said about the dude you met down the grocery aisle. But when you're meeting someone in the flesh vs. online, I feel there is a physiological difference that occurs in our female brain. Let me explain....
When you meet someone in the real world, you automatically know if you want to get to know this person further and if there was a connection with them. I went through this with my blind date I was recently set up on. On paper, great match. Once we met though, no spark, no connection on that level. It's interesting how someone can look and act like a fit for someone and then these two people don't click. But I could figure it out pretty quickly by meeting in person.
Online scenario allows this "moment" that happens right away organically when you meet, to be dragged out. You ask a million questions about them, all the while trying to figure out if this person fits what you are after. You are basing your facts on whether you even want to meet up with them in the first place. And let's say you click, let's say it's awesome. Let's say he used his best filtered picture to wow you. And you get excited! He asks you to meet for coffee! Omg, coffee, your fav! He must be the Prince Charming you've always wanted. So you meet up! Yay! Omg, coffee at Starbucks! But then he walks up to you and he's missing teeth. He didn't buy you your coffee, and he put WAY too much sugar in that cup. Ew. There's the difference. You don't know what to expect or how you will react to someone until you meet them in the flesh. But I find we get ourselves too excited over this prospect when we date online. It's too easy to get attached to the paper goods and not the flesh goods. Let's start to cultivate some love armor (as one of my girlfriends calls it) Don't be blind sided. Know your date could have the potential to not be a match. It's nothing against you, it's just clearly not meant to be. Embrace it and go write a blog about it. It will make you feel better.
So Godspeed and good luck to all you ladies out there who are putting yourselves online. I know we could write endless novels on online dating mishaps; the do's the don't's. But chalk it all up to experience. As they say, practice makes perfect. So when Prince Charming does come along? You are well equipped with your amor armor.
And if that doesn't work--break open the vodka.
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